On Feeling Pretty

How often do you feel pretty? What do you do when you don't?

Have you seen the Dove Real Beauty video? It's amazing. Like, hold-back-my-tears-the-first-two-times-because-I'm-at-work-but-let-myself-sob-the-third-time-because-I'm-at-home good. If you haven't watched it, please do. Here you go; I'll give you a moment.

It's truth time, guys. I like to think I'm pretty good at believing that I'm beautiful, and I get a lot of help from Husband, but I think I'm having a harder time than ever believing it right now. Feeling pretty is tough. My hair has been in a state of flux for a year and a half. I'm getting older, and it shows on my face. I'm still getting pimples way more than I'd like to. I'm in a constant battle with my weight, most of the time feeling like I really just want to be comfortable in my clothes, but way deep down on the inside fighting the major desire to be skinny and fabulous. And it's so hard to tell what's me and what's them. How many of these feelings are honest desires for myself, and how many are pressures to be beautiful?

That's just the question though, isn't it? Who's pressuring me? Husband certainly isn't. Work isn't. Friends aren't. Who is telling me that the way I am right now isn't beautiful? Just me. And I know deep down in my heart of hearts that the reason that Dove video made me cry so hard is that I feel the same things those women do. I tell myself all the time that I'm beautiful, but I would be prettier if... (insert anything here. My nose were smaller. My stomach were smaller. My hair were longer. My under-eye bags were gone. My skin were smoother.) That's how I fool myself. I tell myself I'm pretty, but I don't stop there. Pretty, but not pretty enough.

This is not meant to be a woe-is-me, tell-me-I'm-beautiful post. I don't want you to tell me I'm beautiful. It will never matter how much or how little I hear from other people that I'm pretty, because in the end, I am my harshest judge. But I want you, the girl with the sinking feeling in her gut because she knows she feels exactly the way I do, to know that you're not alone. You are not the ugliest girl in the world, even though sometimes you tell yourself that (because you feel that). Every woman, every woman, deals with feeling "less than."

So here's how I deal with it. I have a really great smile, and it just shines with some lip color. So I put on some lip color. [side note -- as I was typing this, a coworker entered the break room and said, "Did you put on lip gloss? Good choice."] And my eyes are this really pretty blue that just POPS when I put on a coat of mascara. So I put on some mascara. Because I think the only way for me to get out of my "ugh I feel ugly" rut is to remember what parts of me are beautiful. And what makes me feel beautiful.

That is what I hope to do with this blog. I really hope that I can offer you some tips and bestow upon you some knowledge that helps you figure out how to feel as good as you deserve to.

How often do you actually feel beautiful? What do you do when you don't feel beautiful?